Monday, May 30, 2016

My story of the rabbit hole

Crystal Skull from Maya site

Went to sleep late last night and dreamed my eldest son visited me, although it seemed like someone else was using his image in my consciousness to penetrate my armor and make me vulnerable. The image of my son, David, was very concerned about my health in general and was scrutinizing me as I lay on the floor having been woken by him while napping. Waking up in the midst of dream from an important deeper dream, I remember being shocked to see him in  the dream as I rarely share this type of connection with him. He was carrying on a conversation about the serious dilemma with my spiritual path and that my prognosis was not good. He pointed out that I was decaying and that if I needed to see an example to look at my foot. This I did thinking that I had stubbed it on a rock but my whole big toe was gone and a stump of broken bone was protruding from the rest of my foot. It reminded me of the condition of a leper I had seen in the Congo back in my twenties. At that point David faded away and an ominous presence invaded my heart to make me question my right to life and a cruel malevolence swelled to dissolve my sense of well being. I had removed my guru's amulet before sleep because I wanted to see if it would make a difference. I struggled to resist the invasion, the cat came over and tried to cheer me up but after a while got skittish and curled up in the distance. I sat up and took a meditation posture, trying to focus the adrenaline laced painful thoughts, feeling the power of the spell that was swallowing my imagination in fear. I wondered if I was creating this or if it was remotely sourced. It didn't really matter as either way I had to control its magnetic presence.  I realized that my attitude was feeding the strength of its hold on me. After a while the power of the confrontation made me strong and the malevolence began to subside. I then put on the amulet and spent a few hours doing some chores trying understand the attack and whether it would recur.
Kundalini needs to wake up for true protection

I went back to sleep, removing my amulet before hand and after three hours of dreamless sleep woke to an entrenched state of terror that had taken over my body and I was shaking uncontrollably. It was still early and I remained in bed hoping against hope for a respite but to no avail. This was not going to be slept away. I resumed my meditation posture, keeping the breath deep and calm,  and as the sun came up through the window, the spell receded with daytime. I replaced the amulet and it was as though the night's experiences no longer reflected a visceral threat. Armored up to resist future psychic attacks, it was time to make some coffee. No doubt, there was some real work to do before my spiritual health would be sustained.

Daesh punishment for a non-mortal offence
In the past year after returning from India I have experienced many traumas and now am under house arrest till trial in August. It is as though all the unresolved karma of my life has shown up to put an end to my life. I receive regular threats of death from third parties who for some reason don't want to confront me with intelligence. I have been accused of raping and molesting a young lady that I dearly love and she has gone crazy in my absence as there is a non-contact order in place that keeps me tethered to my house on GPS. No one can control her and I am told she is out of state with relatives. I live off the grid with the mesa rats and hungry ghosts and for the first time I am really taking a good look at my life and my scattered family of 6 kids and 4 ex-wives. They in turn are looking back at me from their stations and absolutely shocked by my dilemma as it is so out of character. Who is this evil teenager who is destroying our lives? Well she is not evil otherwise I would have run from her a long time ago. As far as I am concerned, the State (New Mexico) has control of this case and even if she wants to retract the charges, they will not let her. Too much is invested in bringing me down, what with election year and it being so easy to control a jury.
This is what happened a week before charges were laid, last July 2015.

Cracked on the skull with multiple fractures while sleeping.

Attempted murder is an 18 point felony at minimum and the the sheriff''s department doesn't feel comfortable following up on the filed incident cause they don't have solid evidence for a suspect. Everyone knows who to suspect on the mesa but so far no one cares to go on the record. Its too bad cause people are getting killed around here with impunity (Naomi, Holly and Shaolin) in the last few months. A concerned sheriff presence to follow up on dangerous crime may not find the suspect but the effort will make killers think twice. There is a posse mentality that picks on some, like me, and the rest of the time they sit around smoking drugs and complaining about "not enough", passing the buck to the wanna be warlords. At some point the hillbillies in the hills are gonna take out this miserable lot and I bet there wont be a genuine investigation for that. Wake the fuck up!

Concrete rabbit that sent me down into the cosmic hole.
I do a lot of prayers, testing my faith in life, wisdom and actual compassion. I have to stick this out so I can get closure with the young lady. She has to show up for trial and a jury will figure out, to the best of their ability, who is full of shit. If I lose I am, 65, looking at life in prison. I wont be able to take care of my kids, Lilli (14) and Cole (10), and I will have dug an abyss for my immediate and extended family to try to ignore or patch over as it is the only serious felony for five generations. My prayers are becoming earnest. Its either fate or destiny.
I have just spent 9 months under arrest, 3 months in jail and I have learned a lot. Life is not necessarily fair. Incarcerated people are generally stuck sliding down a slippery slope that never lets them go. It is another world that grows bigger and more invested in urban reality every moment. It is a living hell that eats up guards, lawyers, judges, social workers, prisoners and families. Judging by the direction of our society, it is going to become home base, the only safe place to organize the crowds while the rest of the society suffers economic disintegration. Looking in towards the penal system, it is just walls and security. Looking out from the penal system it is a hive that tests and wrestles your very thoughts, habits and privacy. It bleeds and taxes society to exist and it has the guns to prove it. Business monopolies supply and contract every facet of the penal system. Who knew that Bob Barker, the animal lover from the Price Is Right, managed to monopolize footwear, clothing, shower curtains, shampoo, deodorant, etc. I visited a series of jails and a prison being transported in chains from Washington State to Taos and everyone was supplied by Bob Barker products in some form or another. He is dead but his family keeps the business. The stuff is junk, mostly made on the cheap in the US, but there is no selection. you get what you get.

I am almost fully functional recovering from the fractures, except for loss of focus in one eye, spasms of vertigo and tinnitus. Doctor said that if I hadn't suddenly sat up while sleeping, I would be dead. Brave locals taking care of posse business in their dazed and ignorant drug stupor. I am not allowed to drink or take drugs so I know what I am talking about.
Lets hope the law can take its course in truth and that true closure can be justified. This whole scenario is excruciatingly painful on all involved and I want more than ever that our young lady can find mental health and confidence to continue with her life using her marvelous skill set; on the path of beauty and deliberate power. May she find a non-threatening yet talented mentor to help guide her way.

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